I just watched an episode of Dora the Explorer with the babies. I think I am mentally scarred for life. For real. That show is REALLY weird. In today’s episode Dora and Boots had to find something that could scratch the Big Red Chicken’s itch. What they found was a magic stick that could do a trick. Lawd…I know my mind has been in the gutter WAY too long, but that’s just sick. *smh*
On Saturday, I took the kids to the movies. This is one of my favorite activities to do with them when we MUST do something indoors (yes, even with an active toddler…call me masochistic hehe). As long as he can hold the bag of popcorn, Donovan will sit through almost any movie for at least 85% of it, INCLUDING Harry Potter. Hehehehe.
So anyway. we went to see The Time Machine. I thought it was wonderful and quite entertaining. It had that “B” movie quality to it, but in a much grander and more superb special effects kind of way. And I love “B” movies. Sue me. =D I won’t spoil anything here for those of you who may be wanting to see it, but I do recommend it, especially for those who are science fiction fans, or have kids who are.
After the movie, on the walk home, the conversation with Gregory was quite thought-provoking. He asked a great many questions that, honestly, I hadn’t really thought about before, and had no way of answering. “Can we go back in time? What about to the future? If we went and changed the past or the future, would we have to stay there? What would happen if we met our past or future selves? Do you think the Moon could really break up like that and make it so humans couldn’t live on the Earth anymore? Do you think that if all the humans were extinct like the dinosaurs, that it’s even possible that another kind of human could really develop?” Mind you, this is an 8-year-old child, and this was only a 10-minute walk *shaking my head*.
So anyway, I didn’t really have any answers to like…any of those questions. LoL. He came up with some pretty good theories on his own, but of course he hasn’t had the benefit of quantum physics and the theory of relativity and all of that, and even though I have, I learned about them a loooooong time ago, and not really in any great depth or with much interest, so I am unequipped to teach it to him in the space of one evening.
Now, just thinking about it for myself without doing any kind of research, off the top of my cynical head I would say time travel is nearly impossible. But the fanciful dreamer part of me wants to believe otherwise. Although….would I REALLY want to go back in time? Or into the future? I can’t say for sure. Sometimes…it seems like it would be nice, if only to escape what my life is now. And that’s not the right reason to do something like that. So I just decided to do a little research on it. Partly to answer at least some of Gregory’s questions, and partly for my own curiosity. A few things I found were extremely compelling and interesting.
One of the more interesting (and more serious – most of the sites I found were full of tongue-in-cheek or fantastical or science fiction views) things I found was a paper on Time Travel and Interdimensional Voyages. It explains how the theory of relativity can be used to prove that time travel IS possible, citing documented facts such as the way time slows down the faster you are moving, and if we could just find a way to move fast enough, such as going faster than the speed of light or going through wormholes or time dilation, we could actually travel into the future. While a bit more tricky and paradox-ridden, and therefore more likely to be the truly impossible obstacle (in my opinion), travel into the past is not irrevocably ruled out, either.
“Einstein

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(Quick rant – I HATE HATE HATE Internet Explorer. Freaking thing ALWAYS crashes as soon as I am trying to do something….as soon as I get a better computer, I am going back to Netscape or Mozilla. Hurumphhh!)
Monday Mission 2.11
1. As a child, did you ever wish you had a different name, maybe a name you wish your parents had chosen? To what would change it if you could?
I used to DEFINITELY wish I had a different name. Once, I told one of my teachers that I would like to be called “Emily,” because this was what my family called me as a nickname. (not!) lmao.
2. What skill have you been wanting to learn but have just kept putting off?
Lots of things. PHP, MySQL, knitting (although I CAN crochet), crewel, and probably some other things that I can’t think of right now.
3. Are there there any regional foods you love but just can’t get where you are living now? (burger chain, ice cream shop, etc. that was in your hometown but has no locations where you are today)
Red Lobster. There used to be one here that I could get to, but it has since moved. I love seafood of almost any kind, especialy after growing up in Maryland, land of the Blue Crabs. (mmmmmmmm)
4. What recreational activity would you take up if you had the time and/or money?
Probably sailing. I love being out on the water.
5. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? Has anybody ever found out?
HA!! Now WHY in the world would I put that up here? Nope, sorry….it’s pretty bad, and I am not currently over the shame of it. =( But, yes, it was found out.
6. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon when you were growing up?
He-man! And Tom & Jerry, and Thundercats, and Superfriends, and the Smurfs.
7. Let’s say one of your relatives slipped you a $100 bill, to help you out for the month. Your significant other didn’t see it, would you tell them or keep it to yourself?
Depends on the relationship. If I would have to use the relationship I am in right now, well, hell, neither one of us tell the other any damn thing, so I would have to say no.
BONUS: Whatever happened to Saturday night?
[EDIT 11:15 pm] HAH! I finally remembered to look for the words….
Whatever happened to Saturday night?
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
It don’t seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
I used to go for a ride with a chick who’d go,
And listen to the music on the radio;
A saxophone was blowin’ in a rock ‘n roll show.
You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock ‘n roll.
OK, I could go on, but you get the gist. Rocky Horror. Meatloaf. Enough said. I used to stage manage and prop handle for a Rocky Horror “fan production” in Boston. You know, the people who act out what’s on the screen in front of you as you are watching the movie? yeah. Those were the days. *sigh*[/EDIT]

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Those of you who perhaps have the amazing stamina to read me somewhat regularly will know that I do NOT make a habit of plugging people on the web, or getting involved in ANY type of “i-net drama” here on my site. This site is for me, and me alone, and I am not in it for a popularity contest, nor do I really care if people are linking me, or if they are talking shit about me. Just the same as I don’t link a person just because they have ME linked, or UNLINK them if they unlink me. And honestly? I think the people that do those sorts of things are missing the point. My links page is more my own personal bookmark page that makes it easier for ME to remember to visit the sites there. Because I AM getting old you know.
But anyway, that being said, I feel a need to do a little plug-fest here today, say some thank yous, and show some support.
Ahhhh!! Watch out weblog world!! Craig has a weblog! I helped design it and set it up for him, but from there, it’s all HIS fault! Hehehehehe. (Craig is one of my oldest and dearest friends, from wayyyyy before my internet days – he is the one in the pictures with me on my about me page)
I also need to say a particularly heartfelt thanks to my sister friend Kari. Without her support and phone calls and ear, I would not even be as coherent as I have managed to be lately. Even with all the stuff going on in her OWN life, she has maintained that shining light that illuminates my heart from clear across the country. I love you, girl.
Dallas is a sweet, lovely lady, and a good friend, and a fellow contributor for Et Tu Ghettu?. I guess some part of the “i-net drama” world has hit her lately, and I just wanted to say…Dallas, girl, YOU are worthy, and you do NOT need to worry about someone on the internet who doesn’t even KNOW you saying something about you…when you turn off that computer, they are gone. *poof* *(*(*hugz*)*)* girlie.
I wanted to make an extra plug as well for the Shave Hoopty project. Some of you may or may not know, but Mike has been growing out his hair, and will have it shaved off for a cancer charity at BlogCon 2002. A beautiful cause from a truly beautiful man. Go show your support!
Also on Mike‘s site is the impatiently awaited “Rack Browser,” featuring some of the finest racks on the internet (including yours truly’s). LMAO! (CAUTION : DO NOT view the rack browser at work! *giggle*)
And not to plug MYSELF, LoL, but I added a few new poems, and I would LOVE to get some people adding to the story! Please??
And last but absolutely NOT least, I just want to say thank you too all of the wonderful people I have met lately, who make this whole internet thing worth while – Tashia, Rose, Romel, Rikki, Jai, Lynn, Alex, Kimberly, and I am SURE I am missing some of you, but rest assured you are not forgotten in my heart. =) *(*(*hugz*)*)*
Daily Affirmation:
A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the full measure I have received and am still receiving. ~ Albert Einstein

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It’s raining. Not the thunderstorming, booming crashing type of rain. But the light, gentle, meditative type of rain that pitter-pats softly on the windowpanes like a mischievious faery spirit. It has had the effect of putting me in quite a contemplative, melancholy kind of mood. Thinking about what it is I want and need out of my life. I know that the way my life is right now, I am NOT getting those things. Time for change. The prospect of change is scaring the hell out of me. But hey, I guess turning 30 could be a great big kick in the pants for me life-wise. If only I can learn how to LET it.
Anyway, moving on, I have been realizing lately how much I miss doing theater. Not that I was ever really star-quality material, in fact I mostly did ensemble and chorus work, but I greatly enjoyed the whole experience, and I put so much of myself into it. I can remember the sights, sounds and smells. The exhilaration of finally learning my lines, the laughter shared, the smell of pancake makeup and baby wipes and paint and sweat and excitement and nervousness.
I did many, many performances during the time I did theater, both musical and straight. But, I think by far one of my most favorite performances was doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream with some friends of mine. It was a very busy performance for me. I was the stage manager, one of the faeries, as well as Philostrate. *whew* It also meant for me several costume changes, and much scrubbing of glittery makeup. But I loved every minute of it. The production was small, and it was directed by my friend Lori (she also made the Donkey mask – she makes the most AMAZING masks…I think I need to take a picture of the one she gave me…it is of the triple goddess). We did our own costuming, which turned out so awesome. We turned it into a semi-musical, adding music to some of the verses, and even adding in a song to liven things up. We didn’t get a huge crowd, but it was still a rousing success, and we were even asked to perform it later that year as entertainment for some function that was being held outside. I think THAT was our crowning performance. Even though it was weird to do costume changes in a makeshift tent-like structure, I think the play was done much justice by being outdoors.
Anyway, the point of this I guess is that I have turned away or left behind so many of the simple pursuits that once made me so happy. I need to find a way back to those things, ALL of them…including my drawing and writing. Maybe then I will be able to withdraw myself from this mind-numbing ACCEPTANCE of the world around me, this unwillingness to take a chance and make a change. Maybe I should at least take out my Broadway musical cd’s, and sing them at the top of my lungs, no matter how rusty my voice. Bring back a little bit of those happier times. Remind myself that I AM still….ALIVE…after all.
Daily Affirmation:
Be the change you are trying to create. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

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The Friday Five
1. What’s your favorite animal?
Any of the big cats. Leopard. Cheetah. Panther. Lion(ess). Their beauty and grace, their power, their fluidity, they truly enchant me.
2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
I got my first pet ever when I was 13, and it was a little West Highland White Terrier that I named Sara Marie (lol) I loved her to pieces and then some. Although I think she thought she was a cat hehe. She would sleep on the back of the sofa, and jump up into my lap all the time. When I was 15, one of my aunts let her out of the house when I was at school one day, and forgot to watch her. She was gone. We are pretty sure someone stole her out of our backyard. *sigh* My mom got me a sweet little cat in consolation that I named Cleopatra. She got me through the rest of high school. She only liked me. LoL. After I went to college, my mom gave the cat away. Damn. LoL. Since then, I have had a myriad of cats, rats, gerbils, and goldfish, but the only one who seems to have stuck with me is my kitty Morgan. He is 10 years old, and I have had him since he was 10 WEEKS old. He is a light brown/tan tabby, and part Manx, so he has no tail, and he has double paws. He is a most unusual pain in my ass, but I wouldn’t part with him for anything in the world. =D
3. Is there any specific pet that you’ve wanted but never had? Why?
I always wanted to have a guinea pig. They are too cute. And an iguana. My friend had one once, and I swear, it was friendly and greeted you happily, like a dog! LoL.
4. Are you allergic to any animals?
Nope
5. Do you have any ‘pet’ pet peeves (your pets or others’)?
Cat puke. Cats running up and down the hall at full speed sounding like a herd of galloping cattle – at 4 in the morning. Cat hair. Shredded furniture.
My next-door neighbors who leave their cat on their balcony (we are on the fourth floor) ALL the time….day….night…even during rain and snow storms! The poor thing sits outside OUR balcony door and whines pitifully.
The lady who walks her TWO dogs up the street every morning, allows them to crap all over the SIDEWALK, and leaves it so that I have to perform a stroller-derby just to get around the nasty disgusting turds while I am trying to take the babies to playgroup.

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Or…something.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I have been saying I have this post in the works for a bit now….*smacks hand*. Anyway, sorry. This week has been really trying. And some things are going on right now that are quite…well…let’s just say potentially life-altering. And not in the good kind of way. *sigh*
So, anyway, this post was originally supposed to be a little bit of nostalgia about my skiing days. (You saw that one coming, didn’t you?) So I’ll stick with that for now. When I was 7 years old, my mother had moved in with a man who eventually became my stepfather. He had some money, I suppose, and he enjoyed things like golf and skiing, so naturally, we began to go with him. He went skiing at Blue Knob, in Pennsylvania. He rented the top floor of a little A-frame ski chalet a little ways from the bottom of the resort, right in front of the golf course (yes, this was and is an all-seasons resort). Eventually, he and my mother bought the entire house, but for the first three years or so, we were “regular renters,” meaning that we rented pretty much every weekend for the whole season. I remember the chalet SO well. I remember that little thrill of excitement as we drove up the dark little winding lane on the side the mountain in my stepfather’s gigantic Suburban, and we finally saw the sloped roof of the chalet break free from the cover of trees as though it had been eagerly awaiting us. Inside to a homey, warm coziness that has never been matched since. Light the fireplace. Usually we drove the 3 1/2 hours to get there on a Friday night, so it was late when we got there, so we would generally take it easy, and go to bed soon after arriving. There were two bedrooms downstairs, and a walk-up loft with an open space at the top of the steps where there was a bed, then another room with two more beds. Many times we brought a lot of friends with us. The chalet was furnished, and also provided a myriad of games and puzzles that occupied us for many a glorious winter evening. Waking up on Saturday morning, raring to go. Getting all bundled up in ski pants, and making the drive to the top of the mountain. Blue Knob is a bit unusual in that the lodge is at the top of the resort, rather than the bottom. After the first year, we all had our own skis, as well as season passes, so there was no need to wait in lines for tickets or rentals, but sometimes we went into the lodge anyways, to get a quick cup of hot chocolate or play some video games. I became the master of Pole Position in that lodge. LoL.
Then, putting ski boots on, and from then on walking as if we had ski poles up our bums because of the way the boots made our legs stay at a stiff 45-degree angle that, while very conducive to proper ski technique, is very strange for walking. Then off to the slopes to decide which run should be first. Of course, as a child, I was mainly on the beginner and intermediate slopes, but I picked up very quickly, and by the time I was 10, I pretty much could ski any run on the mountain. Usually halfway down the first run, I would make a stop at Melissa’s house. Her parents were my parents’ friends, and their chalet was right on the slopes. You could literally ski down the slope, and right up to their door. I spent many a happy hour there, mostly playing Atari (yes, Atari….ah, the memories!). They also had a hot tub set about 50 yards from the house in a little enclosed building with screened walls, even closer to the slope. You could sit in that hot tub and watch the skiiers come down, and laugh at them when they wiped out, looking around sheepishly to see where the laughing was coming from.
When we were finally exhausted from the day skiing (and we really did ski pretty much all day, and sometimes into the night as we got a little older, at least on Saturday), we either went back to the chalet or stayed at our friends’ chalet for a while. Usually occupied with Trivial Pursuit, Gin Rummy, Atari, or checkers, or playing some tape as loud as we could get it and singing along tunelessly at the top of our lungs. LoL. I think I have some pictures from those days, I will have to find a way to scan some in.
Sundays, sometimes we skied, sometimes we didn’t. More than likely we did for at least a little while. We always tried to leave at least by 4pm, so we could stop and have dinner on the way home, then get home in time for everyone to get enough sleep, and/or to drop off anyone that had come with us for the weekend.
I have so many stories about those times that it is truly hard to pick just one, so I think this time I will just stick to the outlines of the entire wonderful period of time. Yes, it was a very happy place for me in my childhood. It was a place I could be safe. My stepfather would never dare touch me while we were there. In part because of all the people that were usually there with us, but also because my mother was always there. So, because of that, I have (mostly) untarnished, pleasant memories of an awesome sport that I eventually became extremely good at.
I only wish that all of my childhood memories could have been as happy.
OK, so maybe this wasn’t as long of a post as I have been hinting at. I have been fully unable to concentrate. Yesterday, I filed my first missing person’s report ever. I never thought I would ever need to do something like that. I haven’t seen Corey since Thursday afternoon. He hasn’t answered his cell phone, he didn’t take anything with him, and he hasn’t been back in this house at all. To say that I am majorly freaked out would be a gross understatement. At first I was pretty much inclined to believe he just took off with someone for the weekend, hell, the ways things have been going, it seems to have been leading up to something like that in any case. But…..it really is so out of character for him to just…not be in contact in any way. As bad as things have been, he has never been irrationally irresponsible. And I just can’t see him not having any contact with his son whatsoever in so long, for whatever reason. Or maybe I am just still naive, even after all these years of bullshit. I really don’t know. So, I filed the report. Let’s hope I find out SOMETHING, good or bad.
[EDIT March 12, 7:45 pm] Ok, so, yeah, he came back last night finally. And this is the last I will ever mention about that. I have much better things to spend my energy on. [/EDIT]

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But first, the Friday Five.
1. What makes you homesick?
Lately, lots of things. I am not sure if I am homesick for a PLACE so much, as a CONCEPT…of family….peace, love, comfort, stability. I miss those things terribly.
2. Where is “home” for you?
Even though I haven’t lived there in over 15 years, I still consider Maryland my home.
3. What makes it home for you? People? Things?
The people, definitely. Even though anywhere my kids are is a home to me, I think home to me is how I grew up…with a myriad of aunts, uncles, cousins, and even more all around me and readily accessible, and impossible to get rid of. I wish I had cherished it more when I had it.
4. Where is the furthest you’ve been from home, miles-wise?
1623 miles (2612 km). When we went to Colorado to ski. (Funny, there is that skiing reference again…it has obviously been FAR too long since I thought about that time of my life, much less talked about it.)
5. What are your plans for this weekend?
I guess I am taking the kids to a Saturday playgoup tomorrow morning, then we are supposed to go to Donovan’s grandmother’s for Saturday night. We’ll see how it goes. I really don’t have the energy or positive attitude to do much of anything at all.

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So sorry for the lack of postings, I have something I need to post, but I just can’t seem to find the time to get it all down, but I am hoping tomorrow night I will get some “me” time. *sigh* I am so TIRED…my weeks seem to just get longer and longer. But anyway, if anyone has yet another cool online test I can take, let me know, so I can make Tashia scream. *giggle*
BTW, I have been buttonated!! That Hoopty-person is a kook, I tell ya, but I am beginning to adore him to pieces. Thanks, baby!!

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Which Angelina Are You?

Penned by: Tricia
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Tuesday’s This or That.
1. Train or boat? Boat, definitely. I love being on the water.
2. Lake or ocean? I’d have to say lake, because it’s easier to take boats out on them.
3. Thoughtful or perceptive? Thoughtful. I tend to be a little introspective and non-observant, so the perceptive thing sometimes misses me. *smile*
4. Observant or participative? Observant. I have to scope things out before I will join in, and even then I need to feel fully comfortable.
5. Line or curve? Curve. It just…flows better.
6. Capitalize or lowercase? When I am just chatting online, I don’t think I care much, but for anything else, capital letters should definitely be used when and only when they are supposed to be.
7. Giraffe or zebra? Zebra, I think. The contrast is beautiful.
8. Shiny or matte? Matte.
9. Oil or vinegar? Oil.
10. Sand or clay? Sand. Sand castles! Although there is that pesky problem with sand in the bathing suit…hehehe.
Oh, and the other thing? Give me a few, I have something I want to write that I am working on. =)

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