May 19, 2003
Night Falls
I feel as though I am falling through swirling clouds of blackest night, tumbling towards a fate I dare not contemplate. My mind is a seive, letting go of a thought almost before it completes its formation. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Worse, I am not even sure I WANT to know. WHY can my mind not just allow me to be content? I don’t necessarily need to be happy, not yet, but content would be a damn good start. But no, as soon as I begin to feel contentment envelop me like a warm blanket, something inside my head orders me to withdraw, retreat, run away as if the blanket were possessed of the most vile creature imaginable.
