Something made me listen to Cree this morning. It had been too long. For some reason the song Sweet Pain struck me with much more emotional force than usual. There are things going on in my mind that I am afraid to address. But they remain, poking their heads out when I least expect them. The full lyrics are in the “more” link, but the following words were what spoke to me with a kind of plaintive wail that hurt my insides…
This sickness is a mutant bliss
It’s a slow steady shrinking into thinking
I’d evaporate without your hate
To remind me I’m still here
Sweet Pain
Stuff myself into your reason
I lie real close and cling
I’d get small I’d even crawl
For the madness you would bring
Find comfort in your tangled words
I’d be sharper than your grief
I’d gather up into the dust of all your fears
And live in the corners of what you believe
I’d conjure up a second heart
To house your sweet pain
I’d love you so hard other folks
Won’t have to strain to hear
I’d become your shadow
And haunt for just a taste of your want
This sickness is a mutant bliss
It’s a slow steady shrinking into thinking
I’d evaporate without your hate
To remind me I’m still here
I’d conjure up a second heart
To house your sweet pain
I’d love you so hard other folks
Won’t have to strain to hear
I’d become your shadow
And haunt for just a taste of your want
More than any other could
I would love you
– Cree Sumer, Street Faery