Well, this is going to be one of those “woe is me” posts, so if you don’t like it, move the fuck on.
I hate Xmas. Hate it with a passion. I met Corey on Xmas Eve. 1996. Five year ago. Five YEARS. And last year I got a fake necklace I can’t even wear because I am allergic to it, and this year I get perfume. It smells nice, and I keep TRYING and TRYING to tell myself it’s the thought that counts, but where was the thought put into it, really? Five year, one child together, and no ring. And it looks as though I won’t ever get one. So WHY THE FUCK ARE WE WASTING OUR TIME????? I am going to end up like his friend Tammy, who was with Jason for TEN YEARS, they break up and a YEAR later he marries someone else. W T F?? Gods that shit is pathetic. I wish I had somewhere else to GO right now so I could just end the inevitable meltdown. We aren’t even a couple anymore. We do NOTHING together. And I do mean NOTHING. I had to literally force him today to take his ONLY child, our son, to see his MOTHER for pete’s sake. That is the FIRST time since we had our son 16 MONTHS ago that he has EVER taken him somewhere, just the two of them. I want to cry for my baby just thinking about it. To actually HAVE a father here, but not really have him *here*. He is too busy with his strip clubs, his casinos, his porn, his other women. Staying out EVERY night until at least midnight. And his lies. So many damn lies, he can’t even keep them straight among the people he lies to. UGH! OK, I am done. I will get over it. I guess it’s just that this is SUPPOSED to be a special time of the year, and once again I get this disappointed sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something is missing. Like LOVE is missing. RESPECT is missing. TRUST is missing. Aren’t those the ingredients of a relationship? I thought so. *sigh*
Categories: Miscellany
5 Comments
Tashia · December 28, 2001 at 5:01 pm
Lawd have mercy gurl, I gotta find some time to talk to you by this weekend. I aint one to tell anyone what to do in their relationship but my personal opinion is “Drop that zero and get with a hero!”. Some men don’t even know what to do with a good women. What a fuckin’ shame. I will look for you on aim tomorrow. If ya need me before then, holla. Love ya boo! *muah*
Lynn · December 28, 2001 at 5:05 pm
MAN!! … some of that sounds “oh SO familiar” …. you have my heartfelt empathy ….
You’re gonna do what you need to, sooner or later, I hope it is more sooner than later, …. and I don’t even know you … {{hugs}} and …..
Blessed Be.
Lynn · December 28, 2001 at 5:06 pm
BTW, … why is there a line through me?? Just wondering … ?
Lynn · December 28, 2001 at 5:20 pm
OK … I figured it out and now I feel REEEEELY dumb! *lmao*
Tricia · December 29, 2001 at 11:59 am
Okayyyyyy Tashia? I know what you are saying. Thanks for not telling me *I* am the loser. *muah* Hehehe
hehehe@Lynn being crossed out. Just the css, silly woman, but you know that now. =D Thanks for the hugs, they were sorely needed and much appreciated.
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