I just can’t seem to find my holiday spirit this year. I wish I knew where to look. I have the tree, the stockings are hung, the kids have seen Santa, the cards have even been sent. I didn’t have a lot of money this year, but I feel like I did OK as far as gifts are concerned. And I have to smile each time Donovan breaks out with a loud and wondrous “Oh, wow!” every time he sees a holiday decoration or lighting arrangement.
But the smile seems to fade more quickly this year. And if it’s not for my kids, the smile has a hard time coming at all. I think it’s just that my life is still going nowhere, after all the effort I have finally been putting into it. You know, you get told, YOU have to change your life. OK, I finally accepted that. Knew it all along really. But I have been really working hard this past 6 months or so. Going on interviews. Sending out my resume. Networking for jobs in the community. And nothing. NOTHING! I have been on so many interviews my head hurts thinking about it. And since when was it considered good business practice to not even bother to give a simple courtesy phone call to let someone know they hadn’t been chosen for a position? It boggles the mind how rude people can be. And now I am losing one of my major sources of income. Not that it amounted to much, but it insured that my children would eat at least. And as much as I love the baby that I babysit for, the money I get from that is NOT enough. *UGH* So I have been literally racking my brains as to what to do. And all I see are people around obsessed with spending spending spending, when I am worried about my empty freezer. And it makes me feel sad. Cause I am STILL struggling. And it is getting harder to pinpoint the reason as to why. BUT, I am still taking my at-home classes, although I worry a LITTLE that it may become hard for me to even pay THAT bill. Hopefully I will have solved this problem before that happens. Because I am really enjoying taking the course. No pressure, semi-challenging material, taking tests online. SOOOOO….if I could finish that course and have the money to pay it, I should be OK (as long as I can find a job – HA! on that one). In the meantime, I still need to find some more money coming in. Watch another child? UGH, could I handle it? Not sure right now with the mood I have been in. OK, so I am rambling here now. Shoot me. *grin*
If anyone has a money spell or ritual that will draw money to you that has worked for them in the past, send it my way, would you? I need all the help I can get.

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Categories: Miscellany