To have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual.

When I first thought of writing this post, I figured I should just write a long kinky sexual fantasy. Then I woke up from my dream. (OK, stop the sighing in disappointment, I know who you are! :LOL: )
I can totally see where this emotion could get people into trouble. Just look around you at society today. Sex shoved under our noses wherever we look. Music videos, movies, television, the internet, billboards. Women and children being sexualized and/or exposed to sex at younger and younger ages. Heck, the other day we were at the grocery store standing in line to check out and Gregory turns to me and asks “Mom, what are sexual positions?” Holy COW, one of the magazines in the very prominent display (I cannot even recall which one) had an article on what are the best sexual positions boldly typed right on the cover. Is it any wonder some people get obsessed with sex, turning a beautiful, special act into a tawdry, voyeuristic “thing?” Believe me, I am not just talking out of the left side of my mouth. I have first-hand experience of a pornography/sex addict. And it is NOT pretty.
Now, don’t get it twisted. I’m not talking about people that use pornography, movies, toys, or anything else as part of their normal, healthy sex life, or people that happen to have sex a lot. (even if they may only be having it with themselves :D) I am talking about being so obsessed that you are not even able to have sex with the person you are with. Or you can only have real sex by thinking of pictures or movies you have seen. Or you are no longer be able to be a functioning member of society. Or you cannot wait to be alone so you can look at something more. Or you start a collection of things that begins numbering in the hundreds of gigabytes or video cassettes. Or you start spending so much money on strip clubs or prostitutes or pornography that your own living situation and finances are jeopardized. When does it end? When you have nothing left? When is enough enough? When do you hurt yourself and others enough to say “no more?” I wish I knew. But, in the context of the “sin,” I feel like if lust was considered something not good for you thousands of years ago, how much worse is it today when you can barely open your eyes in the morning without being accosted with a sexual message. And it is almost like society is enabling people who might never have thought of doing anything remotely related to easily become instant connoisseurs of child pornography, voyeurism, or any other type of distasteful sexual deviance that is available today.
Now, before y’all take me for some kind of ridiculously uptight prude, I guess it’s time for me to enter my own realm of this sin. While I think having children and being in a committed relationship definitely gives you a different outlook on things, it doesn’t make you dead. :LOL: That being said, it has been a long time since I have actually felt lust. Desire, certainly, even longing. But not that earthy type of “I-want-you-now-come-here-so-I-can-rip-off-your-clothes-get-inside-me-NOW” type of lust. (*whew*) Although things between C and I were dying a slow death for several years, somehow our sexual relationship was always fantastic. At least, for me it was. It has really only been in the past six months or so that things have really been falling apart. Whatever trials he feels he is going through, whatever dark road he is travelling down, it does not and can not include me. So…I am not sure if I recall when I began feeling needy. Lustful. But it is certainly an interesting thing to be feeling again. I know I am not able to act upon anything right now until my personal situation is more stable, and honestly, now that I am older and I have more responsibilites, I am pretty sure I could never act upon lust as I did when I was younger. I see the consequences much more clearly. And I am much more mindful of the examples I am setting. But one thing I do know about myself, is that I could never allow an emotion such as this to take over my life, to make me forget that other things are so much more important to me. As much as I love sex, I honestly would rather go to my grave never having it again than to allow it to ruin everything I have worked for and everyone I love.

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Categories: Miscellany


hoopty · June 15, 2002 at 11:14 am

what about 42 gigabytes? Is that bad?

Tricia · June 15, 2002 at 11:54 am

*dies* Hoopty, you are an absolute mess…and YES, 42 Gigabytes is ummm…..just crazy. You freak. :kissy:

su(zi)e · June 15, 2002 at 2:31 pm

ah, go on, post the fantasy!!

drublood · June 15, 2002 at 3:22 pm

are no longer be able to be a functioning member of society.
I just wanted to point out what I’m assuming is a HILARIOUS unintentional pun.
But, seriously…I’m digging your sins, mama!

Sandee · June 15, 2002 at 4:27 pm

Lust is Good :lovey:

Darni · June 15, 2002 at 8:23 pm

are you sure its a deadly sin??
i’m gonna end up in hell afterall. damn!

Lloyd R. Belthazar · June 15, 2002 at 9:58 pm

The Goddess does not hold Christian vices such as “Lust” as something that is bad. The unison of the hunter and the huntress will always be sacred and honorable to all who value and see pleasures through life. Desire and coupling is a sign of the vital creation that the Goddess bestowed as a command to man and an liberal option for woman.
Cmon tricia. Summer is coming and the Beltanes have already begun. The energy of the Goddess just flows naturally through you. Embrace the heat and the fire and enjoy the miracle of magic through life.

Tricia · June 15, 2002 at 10:53 pm

Oh…Mr. Lloyd R. Belthazar!! It is a honor having you here. I do hear what you are saying, though. And as I stated before, I don’t think ANY of the “Seven Deadly Sins” are sins (I don’t even believe in sins at all, for that matter), nor do I think any of them are necessarily bad things. I guess what I was trying to do was explore them as a group because they are known to so many, and see if there were areas in my life where I exhibited any of these seven things to the point where it is just not good for me mentally or physically. As in…common sense. You know?
But even after I posted this one, I felt I had approached it from a completely different place than I might have at another point in my life. I approached it from the side of hurt and pain. While my belief in the Goddess has not wavered, my joy has. And I am embarking on a TRUE spiritual journey now, to attempt to regain some of that joy. Thank you, Mr. Belthazar, for reminding me where some of that joy may lie. :hello:

tiffani · June 16, 2002 at 5:29 pm

ummm, i left a comment yesterday but i don’t know why it didn’t take. anyway, i basically said that i really enjoy your site…and your smileys too.
i’ll be back!!!!

Shunda · June 16, 2002 at 11:20 pm

okay so the self pleasure thing is all good then. Whew! I’m off the hook on that one! :LOL:
And Tricia, don’t forget I can stalk you now :nyah:

Romel · June 18, 2002 at 2:37 pm

[smiles]You know i had to comment on this one lol..but i will give it my darkness spin.Like all things ma there is no such thing as good or bad magic just the same as good or bad sins.It’s the ones who embrace it that makes it bad in a state of mind.You can embrace lust and use it to bring you and your mate into a world of erotic fun between the 2 of you…or you can take lust by the helmet and ride it into your own world where you only think of yourself.
Either way its all in that persons mind where they want to go,me i’m a borderliner in this one cause i will embrace it and use it to bring out my girls wildest dreams and desires…but i will also grab it by the chin strap and take it so i can bring out the lust in me and my world so i can fullfill my fantasies and desires.

Kari · June 19, 2002 at 9:37 pm

Better late than never. (had to clean my toys) Yeah, Tricia…this was a very interesting post. I see it brought out the freaks…
(goes back into hiding)

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