Sitting here, at my own ancient dinosaur of a computer, typing this post, feels extremely surreal. Wait, that’s a vast understatement. I can still barely believe it.
I am out of the shelter. Already it seems like some kind of creepy dream that wakes you from your sleep in the middle of the night to sit up and look around nervously, sure that the dream will follow you even into wakefulness. I hope I never in my life ever have to go through all of that again, or have to bring my children along for the terrible ride. Even now, I am not quite where I need to be in my life, but I will say that right now I temporarily have a stable, safe place to call my own. And I am no longer subjected to a person whose sole goal in life seemed to be to make myself and my two boys as miserable as possible. I feel calmer, more relaxed, a little more like myself. I hope to find the rest of the pieces of myself that have gone into hiding during this sad, lonely time, but I know I need to learn to be patient. It took almost six years to break me down completely, I cannot possibly expect to build myself back up immediately. But I am SO glad to have this journal back. (It was the strangest thing, I DID close this site down, then I guess it reappeared again, like magick. Maybe this site doesn’t want to be held down and told what to do, either. 🙂 )
I want to say that I SO TOTALLY appreciate all of the messages and thoughts that came my way while I was gone. It will take me a bit to go through them, so please don’t feel bad if I haven’t replied to you yet. But ALL of you have meant the world to me while I was feeling so cut off from reality. I also will be redoing a few sections of my site. Who knows how long that will take. :LOL: For obvious reasons, I won’t really be talking too much about really personal stuff for a bit, but I will be posting as much as I can, and finishing my Seven Deadly Sins and whatnot. And I can’t WAIT to get back into reading ALL of your sites, old AND new! If any of you have changed URLs recently or anything, or if I forget to visit you in the next few weeks, please let me know? I lost all of my bookmarks (grr), so hopefully my link list is still up-to-date. (OK, I am just trying to sound normal right here in this paragraph, bear with me.)
The kids are doing as well as can be expected. Gregory has done a couple of school switches, but on the whole he is settling in nicely at the school he is curently in. Of course, he is older, so he understands a bit more, which makes it easier for me. He is happy to have it be just us. Donovan (who recently turned TWO YEARS OLD!! Oh, man, I can’t believe it, my little baby!) has had a bit of a tougher time, mostly transitioning into all the different places. But he already is calling this place home, and he wants to go to school just like his big brother. 🙂
Speaking of Donovan, he will probably wake up from his nap soon, so I better start wrapping this up. I have more to say, but I just wanted to make sure I let everyone know I was back, before I started getting stalked. :LOL: I just wanted to say thank you to the sweetest, most precious friend a girl was ever lucky enough to have, without whom not only would I have not had the courage to leave my situation, but I also wouldn’t be on here now telling you all about it. I love you, girl. And to two other wonderful ladies, it will be a great relief being able to talk to you guys again. :kissy: