The Adventures of Windexboy

Holy Verbosity, Batman! Two posts in one day! :LOL:
I HAD to come back to tell you guys about this, because I am STILL laughing my behind off. OK, so I am sitting on the couch, helping Gregory with his multiplication. We are pretty engrossed in it. Donovan goes off to the other room. No biggie, I think, he’s probably in the bedroom taking more toys out of the toybox to add to the cornucopia of madness already strewn across the floor. I go back to 47×8.
Then, I look up at the clock, and realize that over 5 minutes has gone by. No noise. Anyone who has a toddler knows that no noise is NOT a good sign. I call his name, and hear a door shut. Ohhhhhhh, good grief, what’s he doing?? I get up, and head for the kitchen. As I round the corner, I hear him. In the bathroom. I open the door with trepidation, it turns out with good reason. Picture this. A small boy wearing a Mickey Mouse pullup and a football sweatshirt and a huge grin, sitting on the floor of the bathroom with a bottle of Windex, which has already been sprayed all over the walls and floor, now with the cap unscrewed and about a half a second from being upended all over the bathroom rug.
How the boy even got a hold of the bottle, I guess I will never know. It is usually kept in a box with a latch that I never would have thought he could open. I guess little Houdini-in-training just proved me wrong. So, after panicking and snatching the bottle away and checking him to make sure he hadn’t gotten any of the fluid anywhere on his face, I strip him down and throw him in the tub to wash him off. While he sits in the tub, all happy and giggling like nothing ever happened, I mop up the windex off the floor and wash it off the walls, both of which take me at least three times to get all of the soapines out. As I am JUST finishing the mopping, suddenly Donovan gets it into his head that it would be SO funny to lay down in the tub and kick his feet as hard as he can….of course, sloshing water all over the side of the tub onto my freshly mopped floor. :crazy:
So, as I am mopping for the second time, he is squirting me in the backside with his little fishy squirter. Does anyone want to buy a slightly used toddler, cheap? :nyah:
Finally, the mopping is finished, and one slippery boy wrestled out of the tub and back into a pullup before he gets that little gleam in his eye that tells me he is thinking about the reaction he might get by peeing on the bed. He refuses all attempts to don him with any further clothing, so the battle is given up, and the newly clean and sweet-smelling child is let go, whereupon he runs into the living room, brandishing a toy light saber and singing “Spiderman”.
Aren’t kids the best?? :lovey: