Well, this was refreshingly interesting.
The first name of Tricia leads you to assume considerable responsibility and to prefer to work independently, without direction or interference from others because you have very definite ideas of your own. Your mind is quick to comprehend and you can be depended upon to do any job well. Because you tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist, you might insist on doing too many things yourself instead of delegating jobs to others who might do less satisfactory work. This name does make you quite direct and straight-to-the-point. Your verbal expression does not reflect your inner thoughts and feelings, and you often wonder why people react to what you say. The influence of this name does not promote the friendship that you desire or the relaxation and naturalness you should enjoy with people. It is a name that makes you far too practical and serious-minded, and makes it difficult for you to act with spontaneity. You could suffer physically through head tension, with eye, teeth, or sinus problems, headaches, or mentally through worry.
From Kabalarians.com
It’s almost eerie how accurate this is. I am SUCH a horrid perfectionist. I am the kind of person that jumps in and does it myself because I can’t stand how someone else does it. Whether their way is OK or not. Since having children I have really made a concerted effort to stop doing this, since of course this comes out as jumping in and doing things for my kids when they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own, albeit not exactly the way I might do it. I figure KNOWING how I am is the first step to making it a little more bearable for other people. 😀
The thing about verbal expression struck me the most, however. The way I speak into this box is SO not the way I speak in real life. In real life, my mind bumbles and fumbles trying to find words and expressions, my lips trip over phrases and syllables as if the words were glue. When words do come out, more often than not they are not correct or appropriate words, especially when I am upset, anxious, or angry. I do wonder sometimes why people react so strongly to things I say, when in my mind I mean one thing, and out of my mouth comes quite another. And half the time I don’t even realize this has happened unless it is pointed out to me. Let’s just say I am lacking in some simple social graces. I really don’t know where I can acquire these graces at this late age, however, Maybe that’s just how I am. A lot of times this is why I blame myself so harshly for failed relationships or problems. I feel like I am constantly saying the wrong thing, and being misunderstood because I cannot seem to express myself correctly. I feel so much safer behind this keyboard, with a delete button and a preview mode. I am always so shy and nervous around people, trying to watch what I say so I don’t sound like a babbling idiot. This is the part that makes me not receive too many friendships from people, or if I do, they soon tire of me and leave me behind, wondering just what the heck happened. Maybe I am just meant to be more comfortable alone, typing away my feelings and thoughts in a kind of solitary reverie where I can never hurt anyone, and they can’t hurt me. Not exactly realistic, however, is it? Social anxiety is not a fun thing to have…
Ohhhhhh, and check this out! 🙂 I am an official winner of The Five Award!! Thanks Hayden! 😀

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Categories: Miscellany


Rachell Quinones · January 9, 2003 at 6:31 pm

my husband and you share many traits.. he has social anxiety, except to where he gets rage bouts around large groups of people and wants to beat them up.. I myself am not clinically anti social but I hate leaving my house by myself.. and I dont like having lots of friends, i prefer to be aware of many strangers and aquiantances then to have to many close friends.. which is why my husband and I are perfect for eachother.. so we can always be not alone and left alone all at once.. there is always someone to compliment everyone.. weather as a friend, mentor, husband or child.. in life we are never alone as long as we have faith and family

homiesexual · January 9, 2003 at 7:09 pm

-crosses arms-
uh huh… perfection is only based on perception mama tricia and didn’t we have a little chat about the name thing. LOL. tricia.. from Patrcia… the noble, upright boodah.
lol, if you and I were having a conversation about the weather, what I wonder is how the subject would quickly change and lead to a night of drinking wine and talking shit about men!!!! :X
ok, excuse me out. -brrr-

France · January 14, 2003 at 10:39 pm

Hi Tricia,
I really like the new look over here. Taupes & browns are some of my favorite colors….soothing. Also congrats on your 5 star award. Haydens work is wonderful.
I know what you mean about editing comments on the web. It’s so easy to hit the delete button if we type something we don’t like. Unlike real life….can’t take it back once it’s out there. But we all are who we are & with age we learn to accept that & hope that those important to us accept it also. I love your posts…..so candid. Take care & I’ll catch ya’ later…..ps I grabbed a button. :hello:

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