Well, Here I am with a brand spanking new layout, which I SO hope everyone likes, because I am particularly proud of this one, and a brand spanking new blog to match. Although the blog part wasn’t intentional. I haven’t the faintest idea what happened, but somehow my Movable Type installation got corrupted, and no amount of beating my head against the wall was going to fix it. I couldn’t even export my entries properly, so I am going to have to find the time to manually archive the ones I saved and make them available again at some point. It’s not really a priority for me though. I am taking this as a lesson in letting go.

I am SUCH a perfectionist. I want everything to be exactly as it should be, with everything in order, and everything in its place, everything matching, and all the pieces there. Wow, even typing it out like that makes it seem like an impossible task. And I know that it is impossible. I guess it goes along with my self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. It will never be perfect that way I think it should be, hence, I will never succeed. Hmm.
So, NOT having every single entry and comment from the past almost two years of blogging feels very difficult for me, but I know that I will survive it. And maybe I can learn to transfer this lesson over on to other things in my life that I have a hard time letting go of. Things. People. Relationships that are just no good for me. I tend to accumulate such various dusty things.
The class that I was taking is over now, and it is hard for me to let that go, as well. I have discovered how very much I want to go back to “real” school, as in for a degree, to soak up knowledge like a sponge and squeeze it back out into my life. I hope that this is going to be a goal that I will refuse to give up on. I want to learn how to let go. To let go of the chains of fear and uncertainty that are holding me back. To let go of the past mistakes, and raise my face up to the sun and let the fresh clean air of future possibilities swell my lungs to the fullest…

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Categories: Miscellany


Jenn · April 21, 2003 at 11:48 am

The site looks awesome!
As for being a perfectionist and not wanting to let go – I think that is just a part of being human. None of us likes change. I just have to take it one day at a time and believe that it might not suck, KWIM?

j. brotherlove · April 21, 2003 at 11:59 am

Well, damn.
I am going back to the drawing board, now. Very loverly and professional plus, all the pieces seem to work together. Lemme poke around some more and see if I can break something.
Oh! And regarding archives, I know it’s too late, now. But consider backing them up at the end of each week. That’s what I do.

Rilana · April 21, 2003 at 6:01 pm

Oh Wow! This new blog layout is wonderful. I love it!

Simply Sara · April 21, 2003 at 6:50 pm

Hi girlie, good to see you back bloggin’!! Love the layout, very coolie! πŸ™‚
I can relate to the perfectionist trait. I’m currently putting the MT entries by hand into b2, I have no comments, but the entries are there as I have blogged my life. I’m sorry your database pooped out on you! *HUGS*
Adding you once again to my blogroll, YAY!! πŸ™‚

Jen · April 21, 2003 at 9:03 pm

Oooooh! Gorgeous layout, Tricia! πŸ™‚

Rose · April 21, 2003 at 9:27 pm

I love the new design! I have never seen a layout like it before. It is beautiful and professional. The introduction is a nice touch as well.

Phira · April 21, 2003 at 11:28 pm

Tricia, the new site is fantastic!!!!!!! WOW!! So bright and cheery!!!

Sue · April 22, 2003 at 9:48 am

Breathtaking! Great to see you back ((((((((((((Tricia)))))))))))))))

Tasha · April 23, 2003 at 10:35 am

Cute new layout!! πŸ™‚ Ya, I know I’m late but I’ve been without internet access!

michael · April 24, 2003 at 2:07 am

Love your new look. Easily one of the best MT installations I’ve ever seen.

lynn · April 24, 2003 at 11:32 pm

*yay* good to see you back girl!!! Missed ya πŸ™‚

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