I’m not really sure what has been going on with me lately. I just can’t seem to keep myself in a pleasant mood. I snap at people, I isolate myself from the outside, even online. Even the spring flowers blooming all around fail to cheer me, because I find myself thinking more often than not about how they are just doing their annual “HEY, look at me, I’m blooming! I’m beautiful! I’m…..dead!” dance. I find myself having less and less to say on here. Wondering more and more if I should just let this go. But I know I can’t. Somewhere, inside, there are still words. I just have to figure out how to pry the bricks loose from the wall.
I guess my feeling this way makes me more irritated because right now my life isn’t really that bad. My kids are healthy and safe, I have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and now I have something that is ALMOST a job ( :LOL: ). The cyber cafe where I was doing my internship has decided to take me on as a volunteer, but with a small stipend attached to it, until I find a job. It might not be much, but for me it is pretty exciting, and it is just good to have a reason to get up in the morning.
G is going to be TEN years old on the 24th! (Hint: cards and/or gifts would be nice…hehehe) I just can’t believe that I am going to have a child that is 10 years old. Wasn’t it just yesterday that he was this little 7-pound 4-ounce bundle with feet no longer than my forefinger? And now he is wearing size men’s 8 shoes. :huh: Time just keeps on marching onward, no matter how hard you wish it otherwise, doesn’t it?

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Categories: Miscellany


cat · May 15, 2003 at 3:36 pm

could it be stress? maybe taking care of the kids? maybe you could try talking to a psychiatrist if you want… i’m not sure you would want to though.
btw i love the new skin!!

drublood · May 15, 2003 at 7:55 pm

Congrats to your little guy and to you for reaching the double digits! How great!

Darleen · May 16, 2003 at 2:43 pm

Double digits… so cool!!
We’re all in double digits…
My oldest child is 32 with a 3 1/2 yr old precious daughter of her own.
My youngest is 15 and a wonderful young woman herself.
Middle child is a strapping, sweet spirited young man.
We were all at the 15yr old’s softball game last night… I looked at all my babies and wondered the same thing… where in the world did those tiny little creatures go?… had I turned my head?… how in the world can a young thing, such as myself, have this beautiful grandchild?… if I hadn’t turned my head… did I sneeze and shut my eyes briefly?
Enjoy, enjoy each and every day with your child… you’re likely to blink or sneeze one day yourself!!

Randy · May 16, 2003 at 6:24 pm

Hang in there; the funk will pass–it always does!

Lloyd · May 17, 2003 at 12:20 am

Well, haven’t we been been breaking down on bricks lately! I humbly feel u on what how you feel like you say less and less nowadays. I feel that way too, and perhaps because everything is coming so short-handed nowadyas, not to mention al ot of responsibilities coming up on my door for me to make happen.
But I am proud that you are working on that internship, it is beautiful! The almost-a-job- will be a job, and that I know will happen.
Good luck, and I will be back! Jood! 🙂
love to you Miss Tricia.. you are a beautiful soul.

Rose · May 18, 2003 at 10:32 am

Please don’t even consider stopping blogging. Yours was the first blog that I ever read. I found it when I was going through a rough time. It sound a bit odd, but your blog gave me hope in people again. The words will come back you.
Congratulations to you and your son on his birthday! I hope that he has a great day and that you have a stress-free time planning his celebration.

dina · May 19, 2003 at 3:03 pm

Hi grrrl!
Sorry I haven’t been to your website – but the wedding planning and has just taken over my life. I’ haven’t posted much on BOB lately – jema just hooked me up on livejournal. You’ll have to stop by when you have some time!
I have been in a rut lately myself, mostly due to the whole job thing. I feel your pain!

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