Changes

I was really unhappy with my holiday layout. It had a kind of “slapped together” feel to it. So, I changed it. I freely admit I was inspired by a layout done by Blog Moxie, so I endeavored to make a (NOT exact – NO pixels were stolen or harmed during said reenactment) reproduction of it, and I think I am much more happy with this one. I guess I just haven’t been as creatively inspired lately as I have wanted to be. I haven’t done Poser in weeks now, and really have no desire to even open it up. I haven’t installed all of the files on my computer, even, since I replaced the hard drive. I reinstalled the program itself, but the prospect of spending several hours going through CDs and files to reinstall the rest just seems daunting. Someone give me a swift kick, please?
It’s almost like

I am dead inside. As if there is no spirit at all, let alone a holiday spirit. I go through the days mechanically, telling myself I need to do this or that, and most of the time those things just don’t get done unless they have to do with the kids. I know I need to call to get another therapist for myself, but every time I think about it, it’s as if a fog rolls into my mind, ad I forget what I was thinking about. It’s so much easier not to think about it, you know?
Maybe it’s because this is the first year I have been TOTALLY alone, except for the boys, of course, for Christmas. No significant other, no shelter staff, no friends, no family. It’s pretty lonely over here. At least it will be over soon.