I can’t believe I almost forgot to write this story down. Last week was the first time EVER that I wished desperately for a camera phone. Because I just knew that someone, somewhere would appreciate this.
I had just dropped DJ off at school, and I needed to run some errands, so I was waiting for a different bus than usual, which stops right in front of the school. It was colder than the devil’s left nipple out there, too. Which makes this story even more unbelievable.
So I am standing burying myself in my coat, listening to my mp3 player and trying to imagine that I am curled up by a fire with some hot cocoa (or was that with a hot cocoa-colored man? hmmmm….hard decision), when I vaguely hear some people coming up on the sidewalk from behind me. I don’t really think much of it until they passed me. There were 3 women and a small child. The first 2 passed me, one leading the child by the hand. Then the third brings up the rear. And I do mean REAR.
Because this woman was walking by with a MINIMUM of 5 inches of rear and crack all exposed to the horror of everyone’s eyes. I am talking crack for DAYS. I swear I never knew anyone could have such a high, deep asscrack. She had one of those little jackets that girls buy when they want to be cute, not warm. You know, the ones that come barely to their waist. Well, someone forgot to tell her where her waist WAS or something. And they forgot to tell her about the pants, too. I feel bad for her that the friends she was walking with didn’t care enough to tell her how embarrassed the whole rest of the world was for her. As far as I know, the best thing to do when you have gained a little weight is buy some new clothes that actually FIT. Not pretend that your old clothes still fit. Unless she purposely bought those pants and thought she looked awesome. In which case, there is no hope. I CANNOT imagine how this chick couldn’t FEEL her ass hanging out to the bitter cold wind. Unless it was so chapped that you could have poked it with a pin without her feeling anything.
I was almost on the ground rolling watching people in their cars and on the sidewalk do double-takes and then attempt to go on about their business and hide their freaked-out expressions. :lmao:
So people, before you go outside, remember to hike them damn pants up. And if you can slip a finger in your crack without pulling your pants down, please put on a new pair of pants. For all of our sakes.
I love Boston.

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Categories: Miscellany


JC · January 27, 2005 at 11:03 pm

That was so funny I’m finding it hard to type! Cheers.

david · January 29, 2005 at 2:19 am

let me guess she had more crack then harlem lolol

Desmond · January 29, 2005 at 10:42 am

Hi Tricia, thanks for leaving a comment at my blog regarding blogger etiquette. This person with a crack obviously needs to learn dress etiquette but no matter what you say, there will be some without even a little self respect. Nice and interesting story. Take care. *hugs*

Lewis Moten · January 29, 2005 at 12:38 pm

Oh my God! This is just funny as can be. I had a good time laughing at this post.

Ginny · January 29, 2005 at 12:51 pm

Ha!! That’s terrible. I am amazed by how much lower the pants keep going. I love low rise pants, but my crack wishes to not be a part of the style. Don’t people KNOW??? Gracious.

meaghan · January 29, 2005 at 3:10 pm

lol that’s hilarious. Some people should take their time when they are looking in the mirror in the morning to make sure everything is *tucked in* lol

Sigmond · January 30, 2005 at 7:45 am

You Have Been Judged

annette · January 31, 2005 at 1:43 am


judge-mental · February 1, 2005 at 1:09 am

Time to Judge the Judge….
You have been judged already!
Now it’s his turn!

Rich · February 14, 2005 at 8:06 pm

You know, I think the area around a school is supposed to be a “no crack zone.” Or something like that.

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