Apparently my post subjects have been quite banal lately. Perhaps it’s only because that’s how life has been feeling for me. No, I probably don’t have anything particularly insightful or informative to say, and my stories aren’t all that great, but it makes me happy to share them, and if even one person likes it, that’s good enough for me. This space isn’t a popularity contest for me, although I can admit that occasionally I allow myself to get pulled into the race. I have to remind myself every day that’s it’s not important to be lauded, it’s only important to laud myself. Two steps forward, one step back will still get you there eventually.
I can feel myself slipping into that “I just don’t care anymore about anything” territory again. I can’t think of anything to write, my art still continues to be nonexistant, ideas are scarce, procrastination reigns supreme. I’m not entirely sure if it would be better to just ride it out a bit or try to take a more aggressive approach.
It’s almost as though I am on the brink of an emotional breakthrough, if only I can take that last step at the right speed, so as not to fall off the other side. I’m having thoughts of contacting old friends that I trod upon when I was so selfishly intent on having the soundtrack of my life play the mind-numbing song “All Me, All Pathetic, All The Time,” and just telling them that I am sorry. Or maybe it’s just better to let it be, and what’s done is done?
I don’t think this post has a point. It feels like more of a “notepad” type of post, throwing random thoughts at the paper in the hops that they will figure out how to turn themelves into sentences. Maybe I just need to do more memes. 🙂

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Categories: Miscellany


Tee · February 4, 2005 at 1:20 am

Yeah.. just let it be.. what’s done is done. I still love you (in fact I miss ya!) and I am sure your old friends (whoever they are you are talkin’ about *wink, wink*) still loves ya as well.. let bygones be bygones.. *muah*

Christine · February 7, 2005 at 5:44 pm

I have been feeling like I’m sinking the last few days. I feel like I have some good solutions (or stabs at a solution) in the works and yet I just can’t quite make the leap and put them into action. I just hate it when I through pity parties!
Ah, thanks for letting me borrow your notebook. 😉

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