I am in a mood. I hate this mood. I hate that life has so many “if onlys.” I hate that it has too many unknowns. I hate it when you throw it all out there only to have it thrown back in your face. I hate being stuck. I hate feeling like this is as good as my life is going to get. I hate that I can not do anything about it. I hate being a doormat. I hate that I am writing this. I hate that, even with the weight loss, my self confidence is still severely lacking. I hate being so insecure. I hate always second guessing myself. I hate all the negativity. I hate only existing, not living.
This is an essay I wrote many years ago. It’s probably due for an update, but the majority of it still rings true for me. I held my baby in my arms and stroked his Read more…