A brush with Fear

Today I saw one of my deepest fears touched upon. Something happening to one of my children. Everything seems fine now, but this day has been one filled with anxiety, fear, questions, and even terror.
Gregory passed out in school today. I got a call from the nurse at around 2:00pm. Apparently he was standing in line, waiting to come in from recess. The teacher heard him say “Whoa,” and the next moment he was on the ground. (I can only thank whatever gods watch over me that I wasn’t there at that moment, because I am not so sure I would have been able to handle it.) Two teachers rushed to help him, asking if he was alright. His eyes were open, but he would not focus on them or answer. After about 20 seconds, they helped him to his feet, but he was still unresponsive. Finally after about a minute or so, he began to answer. He says he does not remember falling, or even being on the ground. The nurse reassured me that he appeared fine, although his pulse was a bit high. I talked to him on the phone, and he said he thought he would be OK to finish the school day, and I reluctantly agreed. Then I called his doctor, one because, well, he PASSED OUT, and two, because this past year Gregory has had at least three incidents where he said he felt like his “heart was beating really really fast, and it was hard to breathe.” The doctor himself promptly got on the phone, instead of a nurse, which was the first warning bell. He tells me to take Gregory to the ER right now. (Then he says “Now don’t worry.”) UGH!!! So I call the school to tell them to have him get ready to go while I am trying to figure out how I am going to do this. Then I call Sonia to ask if she can come and get Anthony so that I can take Gregory. She is such a sweetheart. She not only leaves work immediately and comes to pick up Anthony, but she gives us a ride to pick up Gregory, go to the hospital, she WAITS there at the hospital, and drives us home. I love her right about now.
We didn’t have to be at the hospital too long thank goodness. While we were there, Gregory got an EKG. Donovan kind of got a kick out of the doctors putting “stickers” all over Gregory. LoL. The EKG turned out slightly abnormal. But then the doctor tells me that’s perfectly normal. Huh??? Then why does the EKG copy for the pediatrician have “abnormal ekg” across the top of it?? I swear, I am going to go postal on someone. So now I have to make an appointment with Gregory’s pediatrician, and talk about getting a referral to a cardiac specialist.
I feel all tight and wound up and scared inside. I am pretty sure everything is going to be fine, and this is all just a precautionary thing, but I can’t help it. My kids are all that keep me going. I couldn’t bear for something to happen.
I have a cousin, I haven’t seen her in years. She is maybe 7 or 8 years younger than me. Well, when I was in college, she was around 12 or so. She had to have open-heart surgery to insert a pacemaker, one that hooks up to some little computer thing to check her heart every day….for the rest of her life. I don’t know the FULL details, but I do know that her problems started out with little “spells” somewhat eerily similar to what Gregory is experiencing. I am TRYING not to freak out, trying not to assume, but it is so hard. I am a mother, after all. I can only pray to the gods that this all turns out to be nothing, just a fluke, just a random unexplainable fainting spell.
*soft sigh* I am glad I was able to get this all out. I feel a little bit better now.
[it just gets better]And to top it all off, my two godsons got JUMPED getting off of their school bus today. UGH! By THREE kids who aren’t even supposed to BE on the bus! Everyone on the bus, including the bus driver, saw this begin, but no one helped. That’s just sickening! They are alright though. Thank goodness.[/it just gets better]
Oh yeah – and here is my Friday Five.
1. What do you have your browser start page set to?
Just a blank page.
2. What are your favorite news sites?
I like Yahoo news and sometimes MSN.
3. Favorite search engine?
Google.
4. When did you first get online?
In August of 1996 I bought a computer, and in October decided to go ahead and use those free AOL hours…and the rest…just goes down from there. LoL.
5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
Well, we are supposed to get a lot of snow tomorrow, and what with my concern for Gregory right now, we are probably just going to stay home and annoy, I mean enjoy each other. Oh, and the inevitable housework *grin*
Daily Affirmation:
For success, decide upon your true dreams and goals and come up with a plan to achieve them. Plan for the worst and expect the best and believe in yourself and your dreams.