Happy Holiday Weekend

We played around with the camera a little more in the light, and BOY, what a difference it made! I still need to take a few more of the baby, he was asleep when we did these, but I thought you guys might appreciate some of these pictures.
What are you looking at?
You know you want to look again
This one’s for you, C
Me and my big birthday boy
G-Rock
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Mine is not so great. Boring. And lonely. Really, noticably lonely, especially with no phone (no, the phone has not been turned back on yet 😡 ). I was talking to Kari earlier, and as always she managed to keep me in check without making me feel like I am crazy or stupid. I asked her if I was feeling more lonely because someone is SUPPOSED to be here, and they aren’t, and would I feel any LESS lonely when I am gone from here, and there ISN’T supposed to be anyone with me? I was really thinking this might be true, but she said something that made me realize it was probably just wishful thinking. She said it just makes more sense that way so that it is easier for us to swallow. Logic always has a way of talking us out of feeling lonely, as if you don’t have a right to feel it even when you do.
I feel like it is even more extreme for me, because C was all I have had for years. I don’t have anyone else. And please don’t tell me I have my kids. I KNOW I have them, but they don’t keep me from feeling lonely at ALL, in fact, they make me feel MORE isolated at times, because I am not free to pick up and go out or meet some friends or even just take a walk by myself. And children are not companions. I can’t talk to them about world events in-depth, I can’t talk about vibrators or drinking or bars or make stupid “Jerry-Springerized” jokes. I do have certain people online that I can talk to about those and other interesting subjects, and I love them all dearly, but those times are few and far between and not face-to-face, which, when it comes right down to it, DOES make some difference.
I’m not saying I need a partner. Hell, that’s the LAST thing I want or need right now. But, I just feel that, so many people tell you that self-love is all you need, but have some of those people ever really TRULY been lonely, without ANYONE around them? Just how far can self-love go if there isn’t any outer validation whatsoever?
On a side note, I never did figure out the &*%# clickable smilies in the Individual Archive Index template thing. But, as a good friend pointed out, how many people actually make comments once the post scrolls off the screen? I might just take them out of those templates altogether. In fact, I don’t even really know why I keep the individual pages there, they just take up space. 😀